Would I
meet anybody in the tunnel or not?
I crawled
in through the small wet hole but it seemed empty.
The tunnel
was as dark as the sky at night.
As I crept
in I heard a frightful noise but I didn’t know what it was.
I’m sure my face must have turned as white as a ghost.
Great writing Kenna. I like your use of a question.
ReplyDeleteWhat a super entry for 5SC, Kenna! Your question at the beginning draws your reader in straight away. You've joined ideas using 'but', have started a sentence in an interesting way (As I crept in...) and used a simile. Excellent work. Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteMrs Ower (Team 5SC)
Costa del Sol, Spain
This piece has been recommended for the showcase but I can't find you on the data base & have no idea of school name other than St Joseph's Shaw or location. Have you completed a sign up form? Please check your spam boxes for comments from Team5SC
ReplyDeleteDo get back to me asap so that I can put the full details on the showcase
jskinner675@gmail.com.
Please mention Kenna
Thank you! We have registered now. I thought I had registered our class a few weeks ago, but it mustn't have gone through. Just done it! Many thanks!
ReplyDeleteHello Kenna
ReplyDeleteGreat work and well done for thinking of 5 different sentences. I like how you have spaced your sentences out but still made it into a story. I also like how you asked a question straight away in your first sentence to get the reader drawn into the story. - Excellent.. I also like how you used great describing words such as Wet, Dark, and my best one frightful. I can see above that you have been recommended for the showcase - I can see why - Well done again :)
Thanks
Mr Norman ( Team 5SC)