Wednesday, 7 May 2014

Mia's 5 Sentence Challenge


The sailor, who was feeling very jolly because it was his first time on a train, was buying his ticket. He giggled.

Nearly all of the people lined up in each platform, though some others were standing next to the train.

Queuing, the people watched train 109 being fixed by the engineer, who was holding a dirty screwdriver and wearing a white hat.   
The train’s engine was as noisy as a lion roaring loudly through your ear!

2 comments:

  1. Great description of the engineer Mia. Well done.

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  2. Hello Mia,

    Your sentences are outstanding, Mia. You have not only packed them with information about what can be seen, you have added extra information telling us about feelings and sounds. There is even a simile included when the engine was not just noisy, it was “as noisy as a lion roaring loudly through your ear.” Well done.

    Ross Mannell (Team 5SC)
    Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia

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